Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
4 words: hood of his car
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
