Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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