Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
