so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
