SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
