yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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