just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Randomize
