Fuck appropriateness.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I can't turn off my feet"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
