Got a toothbrush?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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