You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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