Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
