How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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