once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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