You're completely useless in the revolution.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
