Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
