well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
