I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Couch. On fire.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
