this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
