My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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