One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
