oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
