It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
