would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
last night I used snow as a chaser
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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