I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize