then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
