you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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