I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
