I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
