apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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