you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
