I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
