Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
