Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
