So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
