I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
