After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
