____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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