i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
where am i from again
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
