All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
