I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
