There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Naked. naked and bneed help.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
