Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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