just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize