i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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