next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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