my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
