he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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