U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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