We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
