my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
