No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
