I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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