grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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