Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
