; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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