She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We need to rekindle our bromance
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Naked. naked and bneed help.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
