do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
