i already hear my dad disowning me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
