dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
