to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
