And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize