Need sex. Gaining weight.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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