she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
