YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
