In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
