The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize