Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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